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Introducing Mustrum Augustin Picamore

may 8 2018

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Before there was roxannalopez.com, there was this little known, little visited, and not at all successful blog rantinella.com which was not more than an expensive hobby that didn’t even pay for itself. I have since pulled the plug on it but memories remain and, except for the utter failure, they are good memories. Take a look at one of my old posts made in collaboration with that excellent but lazy soul, Mustrum Augustin Picamore. 

Dear readers:

I am more than happy to introduce to you a luminary of the blogosphere who just now joins the creative team of our website RantInElla.com, Mr. Mustrum Augustin Picamore. Mr. Picamore, or how he likes to be called, Mustrum, is a graduate of some unknown university who likes all kinds of chips, couches, TV, and Candy Crush. Please join all of us at Rantinella.com in welcoming Mustrum Augustin to our team!

 

Roxanna López, PNC (Principal Nerd Creative)

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It all started when I received that call from The-Voices-in-Your-Head. He sounded so excited and spoke so fast that I just understood one word out of every three he said, but when he finally calmed down, I grasped that he wanted me to meet some big honcho with whom he had been working. The-Voices told me the big shot was none other than Stick Person, the Executive Director of the website RantInElla.com; they were looking for contributors and the interviewing process was going to be really easy: I just had to show up, be myself, and the job would be mine.

That sounded kind of weird but you have to understand that The-Voices and I go way back, all the way back to college, and he had always given me good advice. I remember well all the fun times that we had in Harvard, and that summer we spent at La Sorbonne in Paris, and how we were successful working smart rather than hard.—Never mind that we weren’t actually enrolled in any of those schools.—So, once more, I decided to trust The-Voices and hear what Stick Person had to say.

The day of the interview, I was thinking about this possible job opportunity while I was eating my breakfast. I was already familiar with the website; I liked Roxanna Piedrafuette’s López 's short stories and the humor of the blog, but I couldn’t see what I could possibly bring to their project. Anyway, I had made a commitment and I intended to fulfill it. Besides, it didn’t do to cross The-Voices when he was this enthusiastic about something.

I didn’t know what to expect of Mr. Person, but surely, the description on the blog was a little exaggerated. Once I arrived to Stick Person’s office I was surprised to be received by, well, a stick figure. I couldn’t see if he/she was male or female, then I remembered that the matter had already been debated in one of the earlier posts. Most probably Stick Person was an it but I guess nobody really knew; during this visit I didn’t find any other clues, either.

He/she/it was quite nice, however.

“Welcome to the headquarters of Rantinella.com!” he/she/it said. “I am so glad that you are here! I’ve heard a lot of good things about you, and I am so pleased, indeed so extremely pleased to meet you Mr. Mustrum Augustin! Can I call you Mustrum?”

It shook my hand and I thought, “Wow, what a welcome! I wonder what The Voices said about me?” We sat down to talk, I mean I sat and it did all the talking for what felt like hours. An assistant brought coffee; a while later, water, and Stick—it asked me to call it Stick—just kept talking until I completely lost track of what it was saying.

“In here we care about talent, talent, and nothing more than talent. We hire smart people and then let them do whatever they like the most,” it said smiling.

“Huh?” I thought. “Playing Candy Crush in front of TV and eating chips on my couch?” 

After that, I lost track once more. A long time seemed to pass and Stick was shaking my hand again.

“Excellent!” it said. “I am so happy that we could reach an agreement! We will be looking forward to your first contribution say, by the end of April? I am sure everybody will be so excited that you’ve joined the team. Also, we will need a picture for your blogger’s profile; a selfie will be OK.”

Then we shook hands again, and I left Stick Person’s office feeling very confused. Did we really agree on something? I didn’t remember the details of our conversation but it seemed that I had a job! I wasn’t sure if I asked about salary either. Well, I guess we will see what happens later. Now I have to deliver my contribution before the end of April and we are already in May, I guess this little story will be my first one.

Happy to be among you in Rantinella.com,

Mustrum

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